Common new-mum style challenges (and 5 ways to fix them)

Aug 27, 2021 | 1 comment

Hi! Hello! How are you all doing? I’ve not been putting a lot of effort into my blog for the past couple years which I am actually super sad about. Afterall this is where it all started when I pubilshed my very first post back in 2015! I’ve been thinking about picking back up on writing so many times, but with the rise of short-form content (hello TikTok, Shorts and Reels) it’s just harder to have time for it all these days. As much as I love creating snappy little styling reels I do also miss long-form and slower content, and I’m secretly hoping that we’ll start seeing a slow shift back to that in the near future. I mean, am I the only one feeling super fatigued by the AMOUNT of content out there some times? Everything is so high speed; similar to our consumption habits. I know everyone seems to love TikTok, I’ve given it a go myself and I do kind of like it too, but man. From a content creator perspective (even not just that, from a social media user perspective too), I’m so tired of feeling like you have to be “in it” and that you need to be onboard with all the newest social media trends alive to keep up. Anyway… moan over.

I wanted to check in here with a bit of a life update (for those of you old-school enough to enjoy the written format) as I feel like we’ve not chatted in ages!

 

(Trigger warning: infertility)

One major thing I have been considering openeing up about for a while is infertility and how this has been affecting our lives for the past 2 years. I’ve been going back and forth about sharing this for so long because well, it’s private and intimate and while I do like keeping things real on here some things are just better kept private. Having said that I’ve felt so incredibly alone in this whole process, and actually, after deciding to just be honest about it I’m amazed of how many other people we meet are actually going through the same. According to WHO 1 in 6 people are affected by infertility on a global scale, so really this is something we should talk way more about, yet there seems to be a lot of shame and taboo evolving around it. It’s something you always think happens to the next person and it’s never something I pictured would happen to me. But as this article states “infertility does not discriminate”, and it can happen to anyone.

As you know if you’ve followed me for some time we were blessed with a beautiful daughter back in 2020. When we decided we wanted children at the time, it didn’t take long from making that decision until I actually had a positive pregnancy test in my hands. Not long after that we felt ready to expand the family again, but as it turns out fate had other plans for us. It took a long time for us to even feel sure and ready to become parents the first time around, but once we did (it’s true what everyone always tells you) there was nothing else we rather wanted. That was it. Wanting to experience it all again so bad and then not being able to conceive has been no less than heartbreaking. At some point it becomes part of your life – you kind of get used to the fact that it’s just not happening. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but we were ultimately left with no other option (if we ever wanted more kids) than to go through IVF. I’m currently on my second round of IVF after one unsuccesful attempt back in fall 2023. Full of hormones and super (!) tired, but feeling okay despite it all. Having spring around the corner and generally experiencing lighter days at the moment helps a lot.

I’m very grateful for where we are and what we have, please know that. So we will have to see what the future brings. I just wanted to open up about this so that maybe if you’re going through the same thing; please know that you’re not alone and I know exactly how you feel <3 And maybe also so you guys know why I might be a little absent sometimes. 

Titlen er måske lidt misvisende, for uanset om du lige er blevet forælder eller har været det i lang tid, så tror jeg mange kan kende det der med, at føle sig lidt fastlåst med sin stil i denne fase af livet. Med små børn bliver bekymringen for f.eks. pletter unægteligt større – og her taler jeg ikke nødvendigvis kun om de pletter, dit barn får på sit eget tøj. Bevares, det er “bare” pletter, som i mange tilfælde kan fjernes (vi vender tilbage til netop pletfjerning længere nede i indlægget). Men helt ærligt, hvor kan man ærgre sig over genstridige pletter man får på sit yndlingstøj, der bare ikke kan komme af igen. Bekymringen for pletter og slitage (hej, tyndslidte knæ på yndlingsjeans) er dog højst sandsynligt ikke den eneste grund til, at du rækker ud efter de samme bukser og den samme trøje dag efter dag, i denne periode af dit liv.

Prøv, at se på det i en lidt bredere sammenhæng. Din krop har ikke kun ændret sig efter fødslen, du er højst sandsynligt også blevet en ny version af dig selv. Du har nogle andre prioriteter nu, og dit fokus er i langt højere grad på andre end dig selv rigtig meget af tiden. Du er i søvnunderskud og føler dig ofte træt. En del af din garderobe passer dig måske ikke længere, uanset om det så er fysisk eller psykologisk. Derfor er det ganske naturligt, at dit overskud til, at sammensætte lækre outfits hver dag er på sit laveste. Dit hoved er fyldt op af andre ting. Jeg kommer til at tænke på artiklen “why succesful people always wear the same”, ganske enkelt fordi folk der har et stramt program rent kognitivt ikke har overskud (eller tid for den sags skyld) til, at skulle bekymre sig om hvad de skal tage på hver dag. Garderoben skal bare være overskuelig, den skal være funktionel – og den skal gerne repræsentere den man er og dét, man står for. For dem er det vigtigste, at kunne udføre deres job bedst muligt.

Vil vi egentlig ikke gerne alle have det sådan? Kunne møde op som den bedste version af os selv hver dag, velklædte og godt tilpas samtidig med, at vi føler os fuldt til stedet i nuet og (i det her tilfælde) kan være de bedst mulige forældre for vores børn?

ENG: the title of this post is perhaps a little misleading, because whether you are a new parent or have been for a long time, I think many people may recognize the feeling of being in somewhat of a style rut through this stage of life. You enter a phase of life which includes next-level stains – and I’m not just talking about the stains your children might get on their clothes. Of course, it’s “just” stains that can be removed in many cases (I’ll get back to the art of removing stains further down in the post). In all honesty, getting stubborn stains on your favourite clothes sucks. However, the worry of getting your clothes ruined by stains or excessive wear (hello, busted knees on favourite jeans)  is most likely not the only reason you might be reaching for the same pants and the same sweater day after day, during this period of your life.

Try looking at it in a wider perspective. Not only has your body changed after giving birth, you have most likely also become a new version of yourself. You have other priorities now and your focus is much more outside of yourself very much of the time. You are in sleep deprivation and often feel tired. Part of your wardrobe may no longer fit, whether it is physical or psychological. Therefore, it is quite natural that you just don’t have the same energy to spend time putting together stylish outfits every day. Your head is filled with so many other things. I can’t help but think about the article “why successful people always wear the same”, simply because people who have a tight schedule don’t have the cognitive energy (or time for that matter) to worry about what to wear every day. Their wardrobe simply has to be manageable, functional – and it has to represent who they are and what they stand for. To them, the most important thing is to be able to perform their job in the best possible way.

Don’t we all want it that way? To show up as the best version of ourselves every day, well-dressed and comfortable at the same time while being fully present, and (in this case) so we can be the best parents for our children?


1. Start with a wardrobe analysis & declutter

Uanset hvad der ligger til grund for, at du ikke længere føler dig tilpas med din garderobe, så er første skridt i den rigtige retning altid, at lave en analyse af din nuværende situation. Én yderst effektiv måde at analysere dit nuværende behov på er ved, at fokusere på de ting du går mest i lige nu. Også selvom disse ting måske ikke rammer plet rent stilmæssigt; det kan vi altid bygge videre på senere. Det handler om at skabe balance mellem den person du gerne vil være, og den person du reelt er det meste af tiden, når det kommer til holdbar garderobeopbygning. Så lige nu er det vigtigste, at finde fællesnævnerne ved det tøj, du rækker oftest ud efter lige nu. Det kan være ting som:

  • En bestemt type materiale
  • En særlig (fleksibel) pasform/snit
  • Bestemte farver eller mønstre
  • Særlige detaljer

Du kan sagtens tage udgangspunkt i min guide til, at finde din nuværende stil lige HER. Først når du kender de grundlæggende fællesnævnere, så kan du bygge videre på din stil og bruge forskellige værktøjer til, f.eks. at gøre den mere farverig, kreativ eller andre ting der får det bedste frem i dig. Finde frem til kernen af din stil og effektivt bruge forskellige virkemidler til, at opnå mere selvtillid gennem garderoben. Analysen vil også gøre dig i stand til, at undgå fejlkøb fremadrettet. 

Du behøver som udgangspunkt ikke, at skille dig af med alt det tøj, du ikke længere kan passe eller bruger. Men det skal ud af skabet, så det ikke distraherer dig. Så kan du altid gennemgå det igen på et senere tidspunkt. Hvis du har plads, så køb nogle lufttætte opbevaringskasser og pak tøjet væk. Har du brug for endnu flere oprydningstips, så tjek lektion 1 af mit online kursus lige HER

ENG.: No matter what the reason to why you no longer feel comfortable with your wardrobe is, the first step in the right direction is always to make an analysis of your current situation. One highly effective way to analyze your current style needs is by focusing on the things you are wearing the most right now. Even though these things may not hit the spot from a style-perspective, we can always build on that later. A lasting wardrobe is about creating balance between the person you want to be and the person you are most of the time. So right now, the most important thing is to find the common denominators of the clothes you are most often reaching for right now. It can be things like:

  • A specific type of material
  • A specific (flexible) fit / cut
  • Specific colors or patterns
  • Special details

You can follow my guide on how to find your current style right HERE. When you know the basic common denominators it’s easier to build on top of your style and use different tools e.g. to make it more colorful, creative or other things that bring out the best in you. Once you’ve found the core of your style you can effectively use various tools to gain more confidence through your wardrobe. The analysis will also enable you to avoid making shopping mistakes in the future.

Basically, you don’t have to get rid of all the clothes that you can no longer fit or wear. But you need to remove it from your wardrobe, so it doesn’t distract you. Then, you can always review it again at a later time. If you have space, buy some airtight storage boxes and pack your clothes away. If you need even more decluttering tips, check out lesson 1 of my online course right HERE.

2. Removing stains (and how to avoid them completely)

De kære pletter. Lad os lige vende tilbage til dem for en stund. Forbrugerrådet Tænk anbefaler, at man går efter pletfjernere som er Svanemærkede og bærer Astma/allergi mærket. På den måde sikrer du at produktet er fremstillet, så det f.eks. ikke forurener vandløb eller fremkalder allergi. Du bør også undgå klorin og optisk hvidt, da det også kan være problematisk for miljøet. Jeg har længe undgået mærker som f.eks. Vanish, men de har faktisk tilføjet netop en Svane- og allergimærket pletfjerner til deres sortiment, som også er uden parfume. Har ikke selv prøvet den, men det skal jeg da helt sikkert. Det mest bæredygtige vi kan gøre er som bekendt, at passe på vores tøj og bruge det så længe som muligt; derfor er pletfjerning essentielt, men det skal selvfølgelig gøres så påpasseligt som muligt, så miljøet ikke bare bøder et andet sted, hvis I forstår. Et trick jeg ofte bruger på især hvidt tøj, der jo oftest er dén type tøj pletterne er mest synlige og genstridige på er, at bruge en pletfjerner (lige nu bruger jeg DENNE fra Planetpure), vaske det som sædvanligt, og så lægge det ud i solen nogle timer. Det får pletterne til, at forsvinde i de fleste tilfælde! Solen er den bedste, naturlige pletfjerner der findes og jeg har fået bugt med pletter som f.eks. tomat sauce på denne måde, der jo kan være ret svært ellers at få af.

Noget andet du kan gøre er, helt at undgå (i hvertfald synlige) pletter. Gem de lyse farver og sårbare materialer som uld/silke til de dage, hvor de små hænder ikke kan få fat i dem. Prøv i stedet, at iføre dig mørkere farver, hvor pletterne ikke er nær så synlige og lettere forsvinder i vask. Jeg ifører mig som regel mit “finere” tøj de dage, hvor Emilie er i daginstitution det meste af dagen, og så skifter jeg til noget lidt mere praktisk når jeg kommer hjem. Eller tager et forklæde på, som i de gode, gamle dage. Seriøst. Det holder altså 100% og så behøver du måske ikke skifte tøj, selvom der står pasta/tomat sauce på menuen. Jeg skrev iøvrigt DETTE indlæg for nyligt, med mine bedste tips til komfortable outfits du kan bære derhjemme, men som også sagtens kan dresses op til ture ud af huset. 

ENG.: oh, the stains. Let’s talk about those for a moment. The Danish Consumer Council “Tænk” recommends that you go for stain removers that carry the Nordic Swanlabel and the Asthma/allergy label. This way you ensure that the product is manufactured so that it e.g. doesn’t contaminate water systems or cause allergies. You should also avoid chlorine and optical whites, as it can also be problematic for the environment. I have avoided brands such as Vanish for a long time, but they have actually added a stain remover to their range, which both carry the Nordic Swanlabel (“Svanemærket”), is Asthma/allergy certified and also without perfume. I haven’t tried it myself, but I will definitely check it out. The most sustainable thing we can do is, as you know, to take care of our clothes and wear them for as long as possible; therefore stain removal is essential, but it must of course be done as carefully as possible so that the environment doesn’t suffer elsewhere, if you know what I mean. A trick I often use on especially white clothes, which is often the type of clothes the stains are most visible and stubborn on, is to use a stain remover, wash it as usual, and then lay it out in the sun for a few hours. It makes the stains disappear in most cases! The sun really is the best, natural stain remover and I have gotten rid of stains such as tomato sauce this way, which can otherwise be quite difficult to get rid of.

Something else you can do is to completely avoid (at least visible) stains. Save the light colors and sensitive materials such as wool/silk for the days when the little hands can’t reach them. Instead, try wearing darker colored clothing where the stains are not nearly as visible and disappear more easily in the wash. I usually wear my “finer” clothes on the days when Emilie is in daycare most of the day, and then I change into something a little more practical when I get home. Or put on an apron, as in the good old days. Seriously.  Then I often don’t have to change clothes, even when there’s pasta/tomato sauce on the menu. By the way, I wrote THIS post recently, with my best tips for comfortable outfits you can wear at home, but which can also easily be dressed up for trips out of the house.


3. Comfort is key: dressing for your new body

Det er helt naturligt, at din krop ændrer sig gennem livet; det er ikke kun noget der sker, i forbindelse med en graviditet. Det fantastiske ved tøj er, at vi kan bruge det som et værktøj til at fremhæve og nedtone hvad end det måtte være. Det kan du lære meget mere om på mit online kursus lige HER. For mig er det vigtigste, at komfort og personlig stil går op i en højere enhed. Det handler ikke om, at forsøge og forfølge det urealistiske, tynde ideal; men at klæde sig i harmoni med den krop man har. Og alle kroppe er smukke og lige meget værd! Her er mine bedste tips til, at klæde dig i harmoni med din krop – så du kan finde det tøj, der passer dig allerbedst:

  1. Tag dine kropsmål (få evt. hjælp hertil, da det kan være svært at gøre selv)
  2. Læs størrelsesanvisninger grundigt og glem standard størrelsesangivelser (især vigtigt i forbindelse med online shopping)
  3. Prøv tøjet på! Behold kun det, der føles behageligt og som du føler, får det bedste frem i dig
  4. Vær åben overfor tilpasninger (og evt. skræddersyet tøj)
  5. Vælg det rigtige materiale (undgå syntetiske materialer som kradser eller får dig til at svede, og vælg den type der bevæger sig i harmoni med din krop og dine hverdagsaktiviteter)

Hvad gør jeg med tøj, jeg ikke længere kan passe? Dette er et spørgsmål jeg ofte får. Mit bedste råd er, især hvis du har en vægt som svinger, at gemme tøjet der ikke passer (lige nu) væk. Som sagt før, så skal det ud af garderoben, så det ikke distraherer dig. Men set fra et bæredygtighedsperspektiv, så kan det somme tider give mening, at gemme det for en stund, så du evt. kan bruge det igen en anden gang. Dette gælder f.eks. også graviditetstøj, som du med fordel kan købe brugt, da det oftest kun bruges i en meget kort periode og derfor stadig har masser af levetid tilbage. Hvis du har planer om endnu en familieforøgelse, så giver det god mening, at gemme denne type tøj efter endt brug. Gå efter designs som du kan bruge både nu og senere, gerne sammen med de ting i din garderobe du stadig kan passe (t-shirts, striktrøjer og jakker f.ek.s), så du ikke skal ud og have en helt ny garderobe, og stadig føler dig nogenlunde som dig selv. De smarte ved, at investere i et par graviditetsunderdele er, at du også kan bruge dem i tiden lige efter fødslen. Jeg tror jeg brugte mine vente-jeans i ca. 4 måneder, inden jeg følte mig tilpas nok til, at gå i almindelige underdele igen. Når det er sagt, så er det nogle gange ikke kun fysisk bestemt, at tøjet ikke længere “passer” os. Rent psykologisk kan tøjet “forældes” når vi går gennem en livsfase til en anden, som beskrevet i bogen Klæd Dig Bedre. Min egen stil har også ændret sig en smule efter jeg blev mor, ganske enkelt fordi jeg er en anden person nu. Det skrev jeg for nyligt lidt om lige HER.

ENG.: It’s only natural that your body changes through life; it’s not just something that happens, in connection with a pregnancy. The great thing about clothing is that we can use it as a tool to conceal and reveal. You can learn a lot more about that on my online course right HERE. To me, the most important thing is that comfort and personal style aligns. It’s not about trying to pursue the unrealistic, thin ideal we’re all exposed to every day; but to dress in harmony with your body, whatever that might look like. All bodies are beautiful! Here are my top tips for dressing in harmony with your body – so you can find the right clothes that fit:

  • Note down your body measurements (consider getting help, as it can be difficult to do yourself)
  • Read size instructions carefully and forget standard size labels (especially important when shopping online)
  • Try on everything! Make sure to only keep what you truly feel great in
  • Be openminded about adjustments (and possibly tailor-made clothes)
  • Choose the right material (avoid synthetic materials that feel itchy or make you sweat, and choose the type that moves in harmony with your body and suits your everyday activities)

What to do with clothes that no longer fit? This is a question I often get. My best advice is, especially if you have a weight that sometimes fluctuate, to store clothes that don’t fit (right now) away. Like I said before, get it out of your wardrobe so it doesn’t distract you. From a sustainability perspective, it can sometimes make sense to save clothes like this for a while, so you can use it again another time should you be able to. This also applies to maternity wear, which you can advantageously buy secondhand, as it is usually only used for a very short period and therefore still has plenty of longevity left in it. If you have plans to expand your family further, then it makes sense to save this type of clothing for later too. Go for designs that you can use both now and later, preferably together with the things in your wardrobe that you can still fit (t-shirts, sweaters and jackets, for example), so that you avoid having to shop for an entirely new wardrobe and so you still feel more or less like yourself. The clever thing about investing in some maternity bottoms is that you can also use them in the time right after giving birth. I think I used my maternity jeans for approx. 4 months before I felt comfortable enough to wear regular bottoms again. That said, sometimes it’s not just physically determined that the clothes no longer “fit”. Psychologically clothing can become “outdated” as we go through one phase of life to another. My own style has also changed a bit since I became a mom, simply because I am a different person now. I recently wrote a bit about that right HERE.

4. Chic, nursing-friendly clothes

En anden udfordring kan være, at finde tøj der både repræsenterer din stil, men som også er amme-venligt. Der findes et hav af mærker som både tilbyder vente- og ammetøj, men udvalget af mærker der producerer dette under etiske forhold er i min optik ikke imponerende. Jeg købte det meste af mit ventetøj brugt. For mig handlede det i derfor også i høj grad om, at slutte fred med, at både graviditet, barsel og amning var en midlertidig affære. En magisk tid, som skal nydes fuldt ud bestemt, og en tid der er hurtigere overstået end man tror, når man er i det. Og derfor valgte jeg personligt at lægge mit fokus andre steder, end i min garderobe og personlige stil. Men det skal vi snakke mere om i indlæggets næste, og sidste afsnit. 

Hvis du køber ventetøj, så gå evt. efter den type der også kan bruges som ammetøj efterfølgende, så du får mere brug ud af det. Kjoler og toppe med slå-om effekt er ofte meget passende til dette formål. Det er vigtigt at investere i et par gode amme-BH’er, med god støtte. Men, vent med at købe disse til efter fødslen. Jeg taler af bitter erfaring. Du kan nemlig ikke på forhånd vide hvordan dit ammeforløb bliver, ej heller hvordan dine bryster udvikler sig under forløbet. Det vigtigste er at BH’en ikke sidder for stramt (da dette kan fremprovokere ubehagelige mælkeknuder i brystet), men at den samtidig giver god støtte og ikke mindst er nem at klikke op, så der er hurtig adgang til mælke-baren for baby. Jeg brugte DISSE fra Boob (havde en sort og en rosa), og dem var jeg super glad for. 

Udover det, så kan jeg anbefale DISSE amme-toppe, også fra det ansvarlige mærke Boob. De er nemlig geniale at bruge under dine toppe. De skjuler maven når du hiver op i blusen, og desuden skjuler de også det meste af dit bryst. For mig var de her toppe et hit, fordi det betød at jeg kunne bruge stort set alle mine t-shirts, striktrøjer og skjorter efter fødslen, og jeg havde derfor intet behov for, at gå ud og købe deciderede amme-venligt tøj. Jeg kunne gå i det jeg plejede, og gik på den måde ikke for meget på kompromis med min stil. Går du mest i kjole er det dog lidt en anden snak, så her kan det give mening at investere i et par amme-venlige af slagsen.

ENG.: Another challenge can be finding clothes that both represent your style but are also breastfeeding/nursing-friendly. There are many brands that offer both maternity and nursing wear, but the selection of brands that produce this under ethical conditions is not impressive in my opinion. Secondhand was the way to go in my case. Therefore to me, it also very much came down to making peace with the fact that both pregnancy, giving birth and breastfeeding were all temporary affairs. A magical time that must be enjoyed to the fullest, and a time that is gone faster than you think when you’re in it. And that’s why I chose to place my focus elsewhere than in my wardrobe and personal style. But we’ll talk more about that in the next and last section of the post.

If you buy maternity wear try opting for the type that is also nursing-friendly, so you get more use out of it. Dresses and tops with a wrap effect are often very suitable for this purpose. It’s important to invest in a couple of good nursing bras, with good support. But, don’t buy these until after you’ve given birth. I speak from bitter experience. You can’t say in advance how your breastfeeding process will be, nor how your breasts will develop during the process. The most important thing is that the bra is not too tight, but that it still provides good support and not least is easy to open, so you can nurse your little one with minimal effort. I used THESE from Boob (I had a black and a rose colored one) and I was super satisfied with them.

Besides that, I can recommend THESE nursing tops, also from the responsible brand Boob. They are great to wear underneath your tops. They cover your belly when you pull up your top, and in addition, they also hide most of your chest. These tops were a great addition to my wardrobe because it meant I could wear pretty much all of my t-shirts, sweaters and shirts after giving birth, and I therefore had no need to buy a whole lot of nursing-friendly clothes. I could pretty much wear my normal clothes, and that way I also didn’t compromise too much with my style. If you tend to wear dresses more though it’s a bit of a different talk, so in that case it might make sense to invest in a some nursing-friendly ones.

5. It’s temporary

“Jeg føler mig ikke, som mig selv.”

Det er nok den allerstørste udfordring for alle os, der har gennemgået en graviditet. Fra det øjeblik, at du ikke længere kan knappe dine jeans, til den bløde, efterfødselskrop, som du føler dig fuldstændigt fremmed i. En graviditet rummer så imponerende mange fysiske og psykologiske processer, og det hele sker på så kort tid, at det kan føles fuldstændigt overvældende. Uanset hvad, er det noget af det absolut smukkeste at få lov til, at opleve. Det tager tid, at lande i rollen som gravid. I rollen som nybagt forælder. Og i den nye hverdag og tilværelse, som forælder generelt. Så at føle sig fremmed i egen krop og sind (og garderobe, nu vi er ved dén snak), er helt normalt! Det er vigtigt for mig, at understrege, at visse mentale tilstande i forbindelse med fødsel selvfølgelig skal tages meget alvorligt, og det er vigtigt du har nogen (f.eks. din sundhedsplejerske) du kan snakke åbent om dine bekymringer med. Men i mange tilfælde handler det om, at du skal vænne dig til dit nye liv. 

Jeg har været inde på det før, men når det kommer til snakken om min garderobe og stil, så blev kreativiteten lagt lidt på hylden sidst i min graviditet (hvor jeg alligevel var så træt hele tiden, at jeg sjældent forlod hjemmet særlig meget) og gennem især det første lange stykke tid, af min barsel. Det er en tid man aldrig får igen, den er midlertidig, og når man først har været hele rumlen igennem så forstår man, hvor hurtigt det går. Her sidder jeg nu, knap et år efter vores datter kom til verden, er så småt fuldt tilbage på arbejde, og føler mig mere som mig selv igen, bare i en ny version. Så vær god ved dig selv mama, du gør dit bedste! <3

Hvis jeg kunne sige én ting til mig selv lige da jeg var blevet nybagt mor, og jeg på en måde ikke anede hvem jeg selv var, så ville det være, at tage det helt roligt. For selvom alt forandres, så er du stadig derinde et sted, og det der i første omgang føles som en kæmpe omvæltning, vil komme til at føles som hverdag. Og du skal nok komme frem igen når der kommer mere ro på, når hverdagen tager fat igen, og når den nye tilværelse føles mere som en forlængelse af dig selv. Som beskrevet i indlægget her er det helt naturligt, at din stil ændrer sig gennem forskellige faser af livet, og det handler derfor om, at skabe en balance mellem den person du gerne vil være, og den person du er. 

Jeg håber i hvertfald indlægget her gav dig inspiration til, at finde tilbage til din stilkerne, hvis du føler du har mistet den lidt i dette nye, spændende kapitel af dit liv; og også hvordan du kan se de nuværende stiludfordringer du har, i øjnene. Har du brug for endnu mere konkret hjælp til opbygning af din personlige stil, så tjek mit online kursus.

ENG.: “I don’t feel like myself.”

This is probably the biggest challenge for anyone who has gone through a pregnancy. From the moment you can no longer close your jeans, to the soft, postpartum body in which you feel like a complete stranger. A pregnancy contains so many physical and psychological processes, and it all happens in such a short time span that it can feel completely overwhelming. Either way, it’s one of the most beautiful life experiences you can go through. It takes time to land in the role of being pregnant. In the role of a being a new parent. And in the new everyday life and existence, as a parent in general. So feeling like a stranger in your own body and mind (and wardrobe, now that we’re talking about that in particular), is perfectly normal! It’s important for me to emphasize that certain mental states associated with giving birth obviously need to be taken very seriously and it’s important that you have someone (e.g. your health nurse) you can talk openly about your concerns with. But in many cases, it’s a matter of getting used to your new life.

I’ve talked about it before, but when it came to my own wardrobe and style, creativity was put aside a bit at the end of my pregnancy (where I was just so tired all the time that I never left home that much) and it was the same case through a lot of my maternity leave too. It ‘s a time to cherish as long as it lasts, it’s temporary, and once you’ve been through the whole thing, you understand how fast it goes by. Here I am, almost a year after our daughter came to the world, I’m almost full time back to work and feel more like myself again, just in a new version. So be kind to yourself mama, you are doing your best! <3

If I could say one thing to myself right when I had become a mom, and I kind of had no idea who I was, it would be to take it easy. Because even if everything changes, you’re still in there somewhere, and what at first feels like a huge upheaval will come to feel like everyday at some point. You’ll feel more like yourself again once things calm down, when everyday life takes over again, and when your new life feels more like an extension of yourself. As described in this post, it’s only natural that your style changes through different phases of life, and it’s therefore vital to create some kind of a balance between the person you want to be and the person you are.

I hope this post gave you some inspiration on finding your way back to the core of your style upon this new, exciting chapter of your life; and also how you can fix the current style challenges you’re facing. If you need even more help an accountability in the process of building your personal style, check out my online course.

1 Comment

  1. Sonia

    Signe, this post speaks so much to me from a few months ago. I had our new baby son 4 months ago and I threw myself wholeheartedly into the experience but recognised quite early that I felt that I had lost myself. I hadn’t, I was just going through a change to the new and changed (possibly even improved) Sonia who is mother to a beautiful baby! Of course I’ll be different. I found a real lack of support/encouragement about how to feel about and deal with my new body. Although it is returning closer to my original shape and size now compared to the early days post partum, I wish I had found your post then for comfort. Thank you from all the new mums!! I’d excited to see and enjoy the style changes that come from this new stage in my life!!

    Reply

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